I’ve been visiting KMAC for years but only recently tuned into KMAC Couture, their annual fundraiser. The theme this year (their 11th) was “One for the Books,” which sought designs inspired from literature. Since moving to town last summer and attempting to bloom where planted, I thought I’d give it a whirl.
One of the first dresses I remember dreaming up in my early twenties was circus-tent inspired, with lots of billowing folds and hidden things to discover. So, I re-read The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern, and Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn, both of which featured circuses (circi?). Night Circus stole my imagination because of it’s incredible imagery (especially the trapeze-on-furniture and the room full of bottles of scents that evoked others’ memories). Plus, it had mentions of diaries, floorpans, letters and such, so I chose to work with typefaces and penmanship. Text fascinates me.
Shadow/Puppet is an ink-stained dress in satin with my Woven Magazine print and a chiffon cape in Scrambled Alphabet attached with metal and glass jewelry. It drags a life-size doll (in my Letters to Lizzie print) behind it, the physical manifestation of a shadow. This was designed to walk the runway, with the doll lurching bizarrely under the cape.
Down/Pour would feature a Victorian-esque in skirt three layers of semi-transparent fabric with three original prints resembling stonework, clockwork, and palimpsestic paper. The jacket would be cloud-like, puffy and white, with LED lights inside flickering like lightning. And for the umbrella, strands of broken glass beads would hang and clatter while a hidden speaker played thunderstorm sounds. This was designed for the cocktail party, in which models stood still like statues to show off a few select designs.
I wrote SO MUCH for the application. (I love writing!) I paired most of it down, but here’s what KMAC featured:
And then this happened:

I had three months to get this thing together, which included completing several surface pattern designs:1 hours and hours of designing as well as ordering samples, washing, ironing, folding, sewing, seeing how things worked together. I love this process, but dang it can get expensive.2

Add to that the metal jewelry bits and bobs and handmade glass rings and bracelets, done by the dude who let me take his last name, Adam Haigh. This was one of the last steps—figuring out how to connect things. I’d originally wanted to have the cape attach to the model’s hands via rings (which play a part in the premise of The Night Circus), but it was too unwieldy, so we went with bracelets-to-wrists and the rings connected the cape to the necklace.
And this was my secret nod to some of my favorite elements of the books—these bits and bobs were fun to make and were used to balance the weight of the dress by hanging down the back.
In the meantime, I didn’t have a model, makeup artist, or hair person (which many participants did), so I took KMAC up on their offer to provide them. Here are the hair and makeup mood boards I shared:
I’ll be honest. I’d hoped to work with a Black woman.3 I had two models in mind (Chandler and Yolanda), who I’d met at the inaugural party. KMAC4 paired me with Laura Thornton, who ended up being the perfect fit for me, the design, and the process. Stunning as well as incredibly professional and talented. I owe her infinite thanks for guiding me through the process.
Closer to show-time, KMAC held a model workshop, so Laura and I went to scope it out. It ended up being predominantly for designers who were walking their own pieces, plus a few friends of designers. A stunning hodgepodge of people with a range of styles and ages and bodies. Just a gorgeous cross-section of humans. It was a beautiful experience, all around.
However… at the beginning, I watched most of the participants feel awkward. It was palpable. Of course I opened my ding dang mouth:
“f I were up there… I think I’d be pretty uncomfortable, so… what would you tell me to do to step outside myself… get out of my head… make this about the design and not about me?”
To which the instructor, Mona Simone, said,
“Well, get on up here!”
With much dread and stomach-lurching, I did. I put myself back in dancer mode and figured, hey, I’m one of the older people here. I gotta represent as well as set an example. Turned out it was incredibly enjoyable and I wasn’t half bad. There’ a video somewhere out there…
Now, back to the dress.
I'd made the entire outfit first in leftover fabrics to make sure it would work. I used a gorgeous teal satin from my mother in-law’s stash5 and some gold lining.6 I wanted to make it wearable and, as I didn't intend to try to sell a fancy design with a freaky doll hangin' off the back, I gave this one a train to flow under the long cape.
And while I waited on swatches and orders of my own fabric, I ending up testing out three dolls, which required me to randomly call a neighbor and ask her to trace my outline on an old bedsheet.7
This one was stuffed with batting, which wasn’t heavy and malleable enough. The second and final ones were filled with bean bag filler, which I learned is not actually beans—it’s this devilish styrofoam crap. Teeny tiny little spheres of earth-destroying styrofoam. Sigh. But it worked really well! And once the fabrics arrived, I started in on the dress, the jewelry, and the final development of the doll.
If you’ve read to here, thanks!
And if you’re bummed there’s no final photos yet, sorry!
Please stay tuned for Part 2, in which I reveal all!
Available at my Spoonflower shop!
KMAC did provide an artist stipend but it was maaaaaybe a third of what I spent. I mention this because 1) thanks! but also 2) I really need more if I’m going to participate again…
I’d also been trying to attend modern dance classes to scope out a dancer so we could really get that doll movie’, but my schedule just didn’t allow enough investment into the dance community, sigh…
Shout out to Kris!
Shout out to Joan!
And maroon chiffon for the cape, which I’ll try to grab a pic of soon. Gotta finish the hem and attach it to the dress, and it’ll be it’s own, complete piece!
Shout out to Tabitha!