Saturday, April 15th, 2023.
Our call was 10am.
The show wouldn’t start until 8:30pm.
It was gonna be a long day.
There were 70 looks in the show, with only a few designers presenting multiple pieces. And every designer could bring a support team. The place was bustling and bursting at the seams. Controlled chaos.
We were on the third floor of a converted factory. Raw beams and brick walls. Morning sun poured in through a row of paned windows, illuminating the hair and makeup teams. Huge black panels of fabric darkened the far corner, nestled between bathroom walls and a fire exit. Hip young men trundled in with fancy tech. The photography team of Clay Cook1.
Family reunion folding tables were Tetris-ed around the room, with three designers and their models at each. Juuuust enough space to pass between with extremely delicate movement so as not to harm any of the hanging, laying, lounging, half-worn, still-under-construction, tissue paper, spray-painted, lace, metal, 3D printed, orchid-adorned, sequined, pinned-and-needled, handmade designs:
The space was filled with a beautiful breadth of skill and ambition floating in pockets of energy, some trilling anxiety, some partying2, and too many queuing up for hair and makeup. The artists were running out of supplies—by the end, none had lipstick or eyeliner left—and the spiraling line for the photoshoot was dangerously long.
Blessedly, *my* professional model (Laura) was on top of things. She advocated for us, getting the right hair by recruiting her daughter, Savannah, and showing the makeup artist the looks we'd chosen. She also made sure to hop in the photo line before it got out of control, chatting up several folks along the way who she knew from other gigs. Excellent and enviable extroversion.
Overall, somehow, I felt… confident. It kept me chill despite fighting back heart (panic) attacks.
I had put so much into my work. Not just time and energy (and money), but thorough dedication to craft: clean edges, sharp ironing, soft lining, pattern-matching at the seams, all cut to fit Laura like a dream. And all with patterns I designed myself, pouring in so much love and attention. I designed every element. I tested every step of the way. It wasn’t only exactly as planned, it was better. And it was ready.
Here was an experience where the sum was greater than the parts. It was palpable. It sucked the air out of the room and threw glitter into every excited breath. Smiles were bigger, hearts beat faster, stronger, nervous giggles became burbling brooks, and exclamations of awe popped like balloons.
The rest of the day was all about supporting Laura, a steady job to the finish line.
First, we had the full dress-rehearsal:
Zoom in to check out these reactions:
I was able to invite a few friends to the dress rehearsal so they helped me capture these shots3. I also ran around the runway shooting video. This was my last chance to get the length of the chains right: I wanted the doll to lurch with each footstep, with arms slightly lifted to follow, zombie-like, as Laura walked. Then I'd need to reinforce everything with carpet thread in case any snags threatened to rip the metal apart and snap the chains4.
Meanwhile, Laura did a brilliant job catching air with the cape, as well as perfecting her poses at the end of the runway and flipping (lugging) the doll and cape around for her return. Meanwhile, I was at the entrance, then exit, to prep the doll for the walk and snatch it up to avoid tangles. Just like the good ol' days of running wardrobe or props as a stage-hand.
I love being backstage. It’s intimate. Secret, yet it’s the very heart of the machine.
At the end of dress rehearsal, everyone practiced the "all-walk," meaning designers got right up there, next to their model(s) and strutted. It was WILD! I never could have imagined being up there, and I’d considered skipping it5. But I did it! It was empowering! Whew.
Hours and hours later…
With all in attendance attempting to line up, winding around the room, down several flights of industrial stairs, out the back of the building, behind the kitchens, between the dumps, down the alley, under the backstage tent, over and around lighting and sound cables, between security guards, under the shadow of the trains on the bridge, we wound back into a curling serpent, vibrating together, waiting and watching…
SHOW TIME!



After the show and all-walk, I detached the doll from Laura and we headed off to the after-party. She rubbed elbows. I drank wine. The world drowned in heavy beats and fading away into the dark and afterglow of flashing lights.
I danced with my husband. We grabbed my belongings. Headed home. Slept.
It took the next week to shake off the panic shakes. Another week to get the professional photos.
In the meantime, my dude made these stunning black glass rings, I designed the packaging, and we gifted them to everyone at KMAC as thanks6.
Thank you all so much for coming along with me on this ride!
Should I do it again next season?
I highly suggested checking out this link to Clay’s work, if only to scroll through the pictures of his process for KMAC Couture
The folks next to our table seemed to have the whole fam there. They brought in hot Caribbean food and had a full bar set up, sharing tunes and and laughter
Shout out to Adam and Adam, Stephanie and Eryk!
Laura and I agreed, were the chains to break, she would righteously kick the doll away and finished walking with a flourish
I skipped my college graduations, for example
Steve Wilson, founder of the 21C hotels, reportedly stood up and said “BRAVA” at my design… later, I happened to be wearing a ring as I visited our local 21C, bumped into him, and slipped it off my finger and into his hand, mumbling an awkward thanks while dissolving away
It is wonderful to read about your adventures. Love to you and Adam and the kiddos.